Sunday night

Kay Lynn chastised me at Thanksgiving for not writing more on the Blog. It is weird now that I really like my job and want to succeed. I stay off the internet for personal use at work... and When I get home, I really don't want to stare at a monitor any more.

My team is moving to Downtown Seattle in March, so I won't have to do that awful commute, but I really don't mind it as much now that I take the bus. It takes a bit longer than if I drove, but it is a pretty nice wind down to my day. I've had a lot of fun reading on the bus. It has been a long time since, I've forced myself to do so much reading.

It is funny, to see how riding the bus has changed me. I no longer fret so much over 10 minutes. It used to take me 12 minutes to get home from work. Now it is over an hour, and I am standing waiting for the bus for way over 12 minutes. I am no longer in such a hurry and find myself thinking, "I'll get there when I get there."

I could also do a post all about the people watching on the bus. Everyone is wearing headphones these days. I kind figured I would be able to have more "random" conversations. I've only had 2 really good ones. But now, I've figured out the fastest route, and I will be taking the same bus at the same time every day. We'll see what happens.

I started hanging out with Sybil again right before Thanksgiving. I didn't have much to say about it when I was home... mostly cause it was a mystery to me as well. She would like to get back together... I still like the girl and think she is worth dating. But we did break up. And there are about 6 things that were influencing the break up last time. We just weren't communicating very well. Most of it was I was clamming up about being un-employed and all. She didn't know how to support me, and I didn't want to admit I needed support. So... we could say that we are better communicators now... just being able to acknowledge that lack of communication and how we have gotten past it now. But... nothing is really pushing back towards her. I'm pretty indifferent about it. And I hate that. I hate dating girls when I am not certain about my feelings. I know that limits me because how am I supposed to fall for any girl if I am not putting myself out there to discover said girl. But nothing beats being with a girl YOU ARE CERTAIN you want to be with. Sure that limits me... but I'm tired of dating girls based on what we can become. I want to date a girl because there is no body else I'd rather spend time with.

My view of romance is always changing.
I'm reading a book called Franny & Zoey by JD Salinger. I'll finish it tomorrow on the bus and I'm going to close the book and re-read it. It's that good (and not too long). In the book Zoey is shaving in the bathroom, and his mother is sitting on the closed toilet seat talking to him. She says, "I wish you'd get married." He responds with "I like to ride in trains too much. You never get to sit next to the window any more when you're married."
In college, if you asked me to respond to that passage, I would have told you I want to get married so I can give up my seat. I realized in the past I wanted a beautiful naive girl to treat like a princess. The main reason I wanted to get married is to have someone to spoil. Someone to give my window seat to.
Now... that passage to me makes me want to give up my window seat, only to lean over the girl and look out with the window with her and respond to the view together. I no longer want someone to spoil. I want a woman to share life with. I want a woman that knows me and challenges me.

Got to run. One of my good friends from San Francisco is in town. She is a big Golden State Warriors fan, so we are going to the Sonics game tonight because Golden State is playing. The Sonics are going to move Oklahoma, so I need to take advantage of this while they're still here.

See you at in 20 days.